Blogging, Facebook & Social Media

I was blogging long before I knew there was a name for it. I started Horsetrailriders.com as a guide to horse trails in our state. The home page was kind of boring, so I would include horse stories or pictures from our rides or trails. When we took a horse trip to South Dakota in 2008, I started blogging as an easy way to chronicle the trip. Since I am the only one in my family (or extended family) who truly has a passion for all things horse, I continued to blog as a way to share my rides with my friends or others with the same interest. Occasionally, my youngest son will read my blog and look at my pictures, but others in my family have no interest. And that's okay. It's my deal.

Initially, I was real resistant to Facebook. It seemed quite intrusive into our everyday lives and sometimes I found myself embarrassed to be reading such personal things about others. And people who "vaguebook"? What is up with that? But slowly, I started to come around, keeping it generally horse related. Most of my Facebook friends are horse friends with a few family and extended family members sprinkled in. I have also reconnected with some high school friends that I regretfully lost touch with over the years. I keep my business life out of Facebook and will very seldom approve an associate from work. I will "high five" my kids occasionally on Facebook but I rarely share the day to day. My parents are both gone and my sister, brother and I communicate through phone calls or text, rarely through Facebook.

Last night, I took my youngest son and some buddies to a movie. After paying $32 for ticket prices, I took the boys up to the concession counter to get popcorn. A small tub of popcorn and a coke was $10 per child. I didn't deny the kids their treats and tweeted to my friends that after paying $30 for movie treats, I wonder how movies are affordable? The tweet was a bit tongue-in-cheek because those of us who have horses are constantly asked how can we afford horses? A fifty pound bag of horse feed is only $8 with a coupon so it seems like a bargain compared to popcorn! But a non-horse "friend" was quick to point out that if I didn't do things with my horse, I COULD afford a movie and I SHOULD enjoy this time with my kids, taking the whole post out of context.

To those who think I don't spend time with my kids because I am always riding my horse, I'll simply say this: You don't know me at all. Evidently this "friend" wrote the book on how to be a successful parent and believes that has warranted her right to judge. (I didn't know God was hiring for that position?) Admittedly, I struggle with parenting; I am not a natural. Knowing this, her comment was nothing but a cheap shot and I certainly don't appreciate being kicked while I am down. I don't think there has been a time in the last five years that I have missed my mom more: that unconditional support. I think her spirit was in the comments of my real friends who quickly had my back.

But ultimately, I have The Power.

The power to Unfriend.

And I used it.

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Sharing the Sunset

When I came in the door last night, Case met me in the kitchen.

"Did you see the sunset?" he asked.

"No. It was dark when I left work." I told him. "Was it a good one?"

He went and got my camera. He had taken pictures for me to see! I was touched. He knows how much I love the sunsets and would have hated to miss this one. His timing was perfect. I needed to be given a sunset at just that moment.

Tonight I was standing in the check-out line at the Hy-Vee. I glanced out the front windows and once again, we had a stunning orange sunset. I thought of Case and wondered if he saw it, too.

When I got out to the car, I reached for the phone to text Case and tell him to go look at tonight's sunset. The message alert sounded before I started my text. It was a message from Case.

Just one word:

"Sunset!"

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Off Topic

I was warned by those in the know that contrary to my belief that just because I no longer have to carry a diaper bag or employ a daycare provider, the easy years of child rearing are far from over. The terrible twos evidently were nothing compared to the trials and tribulations of the teenaged years. While I usually reserve this blog for my horse related adventures, I am a mom first. Reading Mindee's thoughts on the teenage years over at Our Front Door, gave me the courage to mention my own struggles with parenting teenagers and may explain why some days, I just want to ride.

Yes, its cliché but kids do grow up so fast. As much as we want to see them show some semblance of independence and demonstrate an inkling of common sense, we still cringe when they make mistakes. And it's not just about study habits and grades. It's watching your kid make abrupt changes in his life with a blink of an eye that leave you scratching your head. New friends, secrecy, and a bit of rebellion. Half-truths or lies and a short fuse.

Although none of these changes are life shattering -- heck, I remember similar behaviors when I was his age -- as a parent, they are exhausting. Having grown up with every Movie of the Week depicting some teenager in peril, I am constantly watching for signs of drug abuse, binge drinking, suicide, gang association, teenaged sex, anorexia, drag racing and devil possession. And that's just this week's worry.

Being a child of the 70's, I have a pretty keen eye for drug use and I don't see it. I do his laundry and don't smell smoke on his clothes or in his car. I have never seen my kid drink or smelled booze on his breath. He is going through some changes in his life right now and has made some unwise choices; maybe not been as good a friend as he could have been and I hope he has learned from it. Those of us who survived high school and didn't make any mistakes were either very lucky or are a liar.

It takes a village to raise a child. I am lucky. "My village" are those family and friends, teachers and staff, and even my boss, who commiserate with me and (as hard as it might be) support (or perhaps accept) the kid's desire to change his hair color, not to mention his lack of allegiance to the state's beloved Huskers. They feel my pain when working to improve his grades. These people work for him, not against him. And obviously have not forgotten what it was like to be a kid.

Then there are those village idiots, disguised as adults, who continue to spew rumors and gossip as if they were still in high school themselves. To what purpose and what end? When they should obviously be setting an example of how to be the grown-up and have an opportunity to demonstrate forgiveness, they continue to throw stones. Long after my son forgets whatever injustice these people believe he did or didn't do, in the end, he will always remember how they made him feel and no doubt, it's hardened his heart. Shame on them. Dealing with outside nuisances and intrusions makes parenting even harder

There. I got that off my chest.


For the record, I think my son is a very smart young man. His grades would be better if he applied himself and even though I want to beat him senseless over Chemestry, he can pull out A's in Algebra and Spanish without effort. I'm not sure who's gene that comes from!

Parenting is not "the hardest job you'll ever love. " There is nothing to love about fighting with someone 30-some years younger than you about housekeeping, curfews, how to drive a car or keeping peace with his brother. There is nothing to love about broken bones or ortho payments. There is nothing to love about the insurance premium or worry for a teenage driver. I don't love nagging about late homework, bad report cards or being called to the principal's office when I am 49-years-old. But I do love my kids; unconditionally.

I don't know what I thought parenting would be like. And as the kids got older, I realized how unprepared I really was for the whole parenting thing and sometimes wonder just how I thought I could pull this off? As weird as it sounds, I take comfort in knowing there are parents worse than me out there and their kids turn out okay. So maybe the odds are in my favor.




Although it's easy to concentrate on the disappointments in parenting, I have to say for the most part, that I am proud of my boys. They may not be honor students but are a far cry from being juvenile delinquents. They'd rather have fun than work. They'd rather smile and laugh and run with friends and make every excuse in the book not to be home doing chores. They love their Nana, they grieved when their Grandma died, and are kind to animals. Although they have both told me on numerous occasions that I have ruined their life in some way or another, in a weak moment they show me that isn't true. Good or bad, I think they are a lot like me.

Some days I want to press the fast-forward button and some days I want to rewind. And sometimes I just want to pause….

The Young Riders

It's supposedly the last day of this gawd-awful heatwave. The humidity was so bad yesterday that the shoes that I wore to hose off the horses the night before and had left on the porch, were still damp 24 hours later; even with temperatures close to 100 all day. The horses seem to enjoy their evening showers and it makes me feel good to give them some relief.

I was going through photo files the other evening and found some early pictures of the boys and the horses. The first few years were pre-digital. Someday I need to scan them. Gosh, I can't even imagine having to take in film anymore. I have literally thousands of picture files on my computer (and back-up drive!) I should clean some out, but it's kind of like cleaning a closet. You find things you forget about and spend time remembering and then as time passes, your forget the task at hand and close it up for another day. I was thinking about doing that when I ran across these pictures.




The above picture of McCain and Baby was taken in 2005 when McCain was 11-years-old and Baby was 5. She had foaled GinnyBelle early that spring and this was her first outing away from the baby. By the end of the trail ride, her bag had filled up so much that she leaked milk with every step she took. McCain was so small to be on such a big horse, but he loved that he could. Check out her bridle. It's a driving bridle, complete with blinkers.

For the most part, McCain rode Blue. When the boys were little, they spent many hours and miles behind me while I rode Blue, so they trusted him. And he took care of them. That is Blue swimming with the kids in the picture at the top of this post. Both of these pictures were taken in 2006.

In late 2003, I bought another black gelding called Mikey. He was a bigger horse than Blue and had some rodeo experience. We were told you could rope off him and he'd done barrel racing and poles. I should have passed on him when we looked at him. He appeared a little off in the front, but he had long toes with shoes that should have been removed months before and was running on cornstalks. A little thin; he looked like he needed a new home. So I bought him. It turned out that he did get sore on the long rides, so Case claimed him. He was a great horse, but I just felt he was too big for such a little kid. Case was 7 in this picture. It was taken in South Dakota and John and Case had just chased a herd of antelope.

Later that summer, we were camping at Rock Creek. We had brought our niece with us and she was riding double with John or me. A friend was camping, too, and had brought an extra horse. A little 4-year-old red dun mare. Seeing that we were short a horse, he offered this horse to Case to ride for the weekend. She seemed just his size. This was his first ride on her. The next spring we bought that mare, Butterscotch.

I came home from work one day and the boys had been riding all afternoon. I grabbed my camera and got these shots of them galloping down the alleyway from the barn to the pasture. They were having such fun. Shortly after the last picture was taken, McCain somehow fell off coming through a gate, landed on his arm and broke his wrist. Case broke his wrist 4 weeks later jumping a log bareback. So for a couple weeks, both were sporting casts at the same time.

This rather poor quality video was taken of the boys last spring in their race down the road. One was wearing a GPS and clocked their high speed at just over 40 mph. They can ride!

As I've mentioned before, Case will still ride with me on occasion, but McCain hasn't been on a horse since he took a girl riding last fall and before that, probably that race. But I think they had fun during those early years and I enjoyed watching them grow as young riders. Maybe someday they will come back to it. I hope so.

Gone But Never Forgotten

I thank you for the music
And your stories of the road
I thank you for the freedom
When it came my time to go
I thank you for your kindness
And the times when you got tough
And Papa, I don’t think I said
“I love you” near enough

I miss you, Dad & think of you often.

Emery Charles Martin
(1921 - 1994)

(Above lyrics taken from the Leader of the Band by Dan Fogelberg)

My Riding Buddy

We have a great little trail around the perimeter of our property including a nice little tree-lined path between our pasture fence and the creek running next to the highway. But at the end of that trail was a bog; a sinking-up-to-the-hock type bog that wasn’t worth risking the tendons on the horse trying to cross. So from there you must take the highway with cars buzzing by you, the horse and dogs at 65 mph or you backtrack. We have always planned to put a bridge there or something to aid in crossing so we could finish the loop, but just hadn’t gotten around to it; until this year.

John brought home some broken up pavement from a demo job. He dumped the load into the bog and then moved the pieces of concrete with the tractor to put in a base where the bog was. He continued to stack concrete on the base until the water was running clean over the rock. Then he drove across it with the tractor to further set the base and viola! A water crossing!

Vacation is only a few weeks away and I’ve been trying to ride all three horses to get them somewhat legged up for the trip. The idea of a water crossing on our place has spawned Case’s interest in riding again. So for several nights this past week, I had a riding buddy. Case was three-years-old when we bought our first horse, so he has literally grown up on horses. And I love to watch him ride. We head down the road, cross the water crossing, and run through the fields together. He told me the other day he’d forgotten how much fun it was to ride. Especially to ride fast.

The other night we enticed John to ride with us. He just put a halter and lead rope on Ginger and an old Indian blanket to keep him from getting sweaty since he didn’t saddle. We rode for a couple miles and at the bottom of the hill, Case told him he wanted to race. And they did. What you don’t see on the video is the finish line. Or the lack of one. Not wearing a bridle, Ginger just kept going and going and going. John was beyond pulling her in with a lead rope and just hung on as she made a wide turn down the hill, through the pasture, taking down a dead wire of electric fence in her way, one sliding stop at another fence, a quick pivot before lunging off to the barn. Case and I followed finding his hat, sunglasses and cigarettes along the way.

Later, John said his legs still felt like Jell-o. Not bad bareback riding for an almost 50-year-old man. The crazy fool.

Happy Birthday, McCain.

Wow. Sixteen. Where has the time gone?

I'm proud of who you are

and the direction of life in which you are going.

I love your smile, your excitement and hearing your dreams.
Happy Birthday.

Merry Christmas

It is almost impossible to get the perfect family picture with three dogs! The outtakes were more fun than the finished product. Madeline, the springer, was in no mood for pictures. She actually growled at me when I tried to get her to pose. So I let the grumpy ol' gal just lay down. Her face says it all, doesn't it? Ritz, the white shepherd, could not stand not being by me, so the first time the timer went off, he was relocating. Finally, the shot you see above was the best that we could do. Imagine my surprise when I downloaded it to the computer and found I needed to photoshop BOTH my boy dogs! I'll let you figure out where!

Merry Christmas everyone!

13

My baby is a teenager today.
Thirteen.

Wow.
How did that happen so soon?

The first 12 years
just flashed before my eyes.



In front of me stands a young man.
A bit mouthy, at times.
Tough. And I hope street smart.

He wasn’t even 4 years old
When I put him on that first horse.
Barefoot and helmetless.
I could have been a feature on Fugly

He learned to ride
Because it hurt to fall off.
He doesn't remember
When horses weren't a part of our lives.

You should see him now.
He’s a natural.

Unfortunately for me, it is not his passion.
His satisfaction comes
From touchdowns
And home runs.

But I still love to watch him ride.

Happy Birthday, Case.


I Love You!

The Riddle House Hotel

Although it is off-topic for this blog, I wanted to share with you what is going on in John’s life today. You may recall in a previous blog, I mentioned my husband is a “steeplejack”. His specialty is, simply put; repairing/restoring steeples & roofs on churches. It was a profession his dad learned from an old German craftsman. He then taught John and all five of his brothers the trade. Today, John and one other brother continue the tradition. It’s not all he does. He is really a “jack of all trades” or as he says, a "fix 'em up dude". He can do about anything in the construction business. And his most recent job has been quite interesting.

In downtown Wahoo, Nebraska, the former Riddle House Hotel stands on the corner of what is the main street. Over a century old, it is the known birthplace of famed movie producer, Darryl Zanuck, co-founder of Twentieth Century Fox, who's movies include Les Misérables, The Grapes of Wrath, How Green was My Valley, and All About Eve, to name a few. Its possible Zanuck’s father built and ran the hotel as some of the information I have read said Darryl was the son of a “hotelier”.** In the picture above, you can see the hotel on the left hand side behind the lamppost. It was quite elegant in its day.

The hotel closed years ago. It was divided up into other businesses; a bar and some apartments. It changed hands many time but has been vacant and neglected for years and years. When the owner of the bar passed away, it was found that roof problems on the hotel had compromised the structure of both the hotel and the bar. Both were condemned and bids were sent out requesting the hotel be demolished without taking the bar with it. From what I heard, no company was real keen on bidding it. John and his brother was awarded the project.

John found this old picture in the basement of the hotel. It is a circus parade turning down what is known as the main street in Wahoo. The hotel is behind the carriage. I took a picture of the picture, so it isn’t real clear, but there are lions in the cages being pulled by horses. And look at the people sitting above the cages. It is also interesting to see the spectators dressed in suits and the horses tied along the street. The picture above is taken from the same angle as the picture right below. Haven't times changed! Where cars now line the streets, there used to be horses tied to the hitching posts.



John and his brother and their respective crews began work on the building in August. It was dangerous – the first day a wall caved in and threw many of his crew from a scaffold. They trudged on. As they shored up the bar, John said there was a way to save the hotel. He wanted to save it so bad. But there are only funds available to demolish the place, not restore it. And today, the first wall went down.

I was shooting video from across the street. Watch the top left hand corner of the building start to bend out and then goes back in. John and one of his crew were pushing the wall out from the inside. My stomach was turning to mush.

The end of an era.

**Since I wrote this blog earlier today, I've done some more googling about the hotel itself. I found that Zanuck's father was a farm boy from Iowa who worked at the hotel. The hotel was owned by Darryl's maternal grandfather, Henry Torpin.

My Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving has grown to be my favorite holiday. A nice long weekend. Food. No expectations with regards to gift giving. Just being together with whichever family is rotated into this year's holiday schedule. And most importantly, a time to reflect and give thanks.

The hours, days and years go by quickly and not without challenge. But every morning, when I swing my legs out of bed and look to the east, I have some version of the sun rising in all it's splendor. A promise to a beautiful day. It's up to me to take it from there.

I am thankful God gave me boys. And he knew what he was doing. After my second son, Case, was born, many times I was asked if I was going to "try for the girl." Not a chance! My hands were full. I am thankful I got exactly the family I wanted.

My mid-life was never in crisis. I'm thankful I found my passion and for my partnership with my horse, Windy.

And for the best little herd of horses a woman could want!

And a wonderful circle of friends to share the trails.

When I was little, I dreamed of living in the country and having lots of animals. Here are Ritz, Bo and Madeline.

My "tomless" cat, Tom.

One-eyed Mickey (his eye was missing when he strayed onto our place).

The chickens were McCain's project and when he lost interest, became mine.

I'm thankful for my upbringing and although I miss my parents every day, I am thankful for my brother & sister and that as we reach middle age, we can still laugh till we cry.

Thanks to my new blogger friends who tune in now and again.

From my family to yours, Happy Thanksgiving.